


It's complicated.

by Silvermoonyy



Category: Dylan Klebold - Fandom, Eric Harris - Fandom, True Crime - Fandom, tcc - Fandom
Genre: please dont hate me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:49:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28706949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silvermoonyy/pseuds/Silvermoonyy
Summary: You have just moved to Littleton, Colorado a few months ago. You've made a few friends and everything seems to be going fine until you fall into a very complicated, unexpected love triangle.
Relationships: Dylan Klebold/Reader, Eric Harris/Dylan Klebold/Reader, Eric Harris/Reader
Comments: 8
Kudos: 8





	It's complicated.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first time writing in a very long time so pardon any grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. I will be using fictional characters I've made up because I feel uncomfortable bringing alive people who knew Eric and Dylan into the story, so any random names I mention are just people I've created! 
> 
> This is also written in 1st person because why the fuck people write in 2nd person is beyond me.

I've always loved Autumn. I love how the dismal fog hovers on top of the horizon and the messy, disorganized piles of amber leaves that scatter across the pavement. I feel as if I can relate to autumn in some sad and depressing way. Watching the hopeless rain fall down and the dead leaves being whisked away by the chilling breezes was somewhat comforting. It's like the weather understands how I was feeling inside. Today is a school day, the streets feel desolate during the dark mornings before anyone has left their houses to go live their cliché lives. As I peer out my window into the grey, cloudy skies I wonder what I'd be like to be that oblivious. I wish I could act as if I live in a box too and be unaware that everything we do is inevitably pointless. I wish I could just be happy with the cookie cutter life but being the way I am, I think I'm impossible to satisfy. I often pondered if I would one day grow up, marry a man, pop out a few kids, then die and be happy with that. I know that's a bit morbid but that seems to be the dream of every other teenage girl I know. It seems so bleak. Love isn't something I'm interested in. My mom always tells me to try and find a boyfriend, tells me to "live a little". It's the 90s, why is it that for a woman to be happy she needs a man? All they do is get in the way. I hate having routine and trying to fit into the social norm. I wish I could just do what I want when I want. America is supposed to be the land where your dreams flourish, but for a 16 year old like me, you have no time for dreaming. You're too busy being trained to be apart of society. You're too busy being programmed to go out into the world and act just like everyone other person in this god forsaken country. 'The land of the free' is such a stupid concept when I am not free. I am not free to make my own choices til I'm 18, even then I can't make the choice to drink alcohol until I'm 21. I'm trapped in a system where I have no free time to do this I want to do like painting, writing, reading a fucking book. This is not the land of the free. It's the land of the enslaved.  
  
I shake my head, I was getting way too philosophical before I even brushed my teeth. I slip off the duvet and press my feet to the carpet. I have a stretch and yawn. Since moving from New York I've never been able to get my sleeping pattern back to normal, even though the time difference was only 2 hours, those 2 hours of extra sleep are sorely missed. I moved to Colorado over the summer, it wasn't too bad at first, I made friends with my next door neighbor, Jason. He is a tall, skinny kid with a fuck tonne of acne. Hormones really hit him hard. No matter how much he washed his hair and face is always looked slightly greasy. I liked that about him. I liked that he isn't perfect. He introduced me to my other friend Claire. She is a lot more girly than people I usually befriend but she's just so sweet. She is the most thoughtful and caring person I've met in my life so far. I was enjoying my time in Littleton very much until school started.

I get up and make my way to the bathroom to get ready for the hell hole that is Columbine High School. I looked at myself in the mirror. I have major eye bags, not even slightly dark under eyes, but well defined purple circles sat under bloodshot eyes. They are puffy, as if I had been crying. I wet a cloth with cold water and wash my face. I think the cold water will wake me up but I was wrong. I can't remember the last time I felt fully rested. I wonder what it's like to feel completely relaxed and at complete peace. If there is a higher power, I'd ask them to take my soul out of my body to just let my physical self have rest from the world. I do the other basic shit to make myself presentable, like brushing my teeth, flossing and, brushing my hair. I never try to do anything fancy with my appearance for school. Although I feel different to everyone else, I know it's best just to blend in, I don't want to draw any attention to myself. I'd rather just be invisible. I throw on a pair of jeans, a plain black T shirt, and a green flannel after tying my hair in a clumsy looking messy bun. To hide the fact I am looking as if I could die at any moment, I apply some light concealer to my under eyes, a thin layer of mascara to my eyelashes, and slightly pencil in my eyebrows. That's all I have energy for right now. I am basically ready to go. Since Jason lives next-door and actually owns a car, we take turns giving each other rides to school each day. Today is his turn. Jason is always late, I don't particularly care. I learn nothing at that place, my mind is never still or has time to focus on anything so unimportant as the area of a triangle or why magnets attract each other. My grades are what some would call mediocre, I would say my grades were pretty good for someone who barely shows up. Knowing Jason will be late I have some time to eat something before heading off the to pit of despair. I place some pop tarts in the toaster and zone off into my own fantasy world. I often like to pretend I am a hamster. I know that sounds strange but bare with me. They are so care free. They eat, they sleep, they run on their little wheel, and they're so damn happy. I would love to know what feels like. Suddenly, my thoughts are interrupted by the sound of the toaster. I take a minute to eat my pop tarts. I grab my backpack and head over to Jason's house.  
  
  
That's another thing I love about autumn, the air is so crisp and fresh. It feels like I can actually get a full breath for once. My boots make a crunching sound as they crush the vibrant leaves underneath them. I knock on Jason's door and he's actually ready to go for once.   
  
"Wow, we might actually be on time." I say quite dully, the words sound dragged out. I know I sound tired but I'm not trying to hide it. I haven't even been up an hour yet and I was alright thinking about it being over.  
  
"Don't worry," Jason rubbed his sunken in eyes, "we'll find someway to be late, it would feel right otherwise."   
  
I let out a half-assed grunt of a laugh.  
  
**************************************************************************************  
  
I am right, we made it to school on time. Jason suggests we go for a cigarette before we have our first period class, so we make our way over to the smokers pit. There's a few people there, usually is in the morning filled by other students trying to get enough nicotine buzz to get them through the first period. Jason has good bone structure, if he wasn't riddled with acne and didn't hide his face with his long curly hair constantly, I think girls would be super interested in him. I watch as he pulls a cigarette out of the carton and passes it to me. His fingers were long and boney, kinda creepy looking. Everything about him was so slender and pale, he was very gaunt and gangling looking. The boy is super tall. He is the tallest in our friend group by far, even my friend Dylan who was pretty lanky appears short in comparison to Jason. Dylan is cool. Not your stereotypical cool guy but he is interesting to me. We met in psychology on my first day. He makes school more bearable. He's a very sweet, funny guy but I get the feeling he's like me. He lacks purpose. When I speak to him sometimes it's like his eyes are tired or like his body is speaking rather than his mind. I look at him and see Autumn. Looks beautiful on the outside, has a colorful and vibrant soul, but feels cold and gloomy on the inside. To me, he is the bright sun that occasionally peaks through the haunting clouds but will then disappear behind the grey blanket that covers the sky again. He sometimes looks vacant, as if he wants his soul to be lifted from his body for a moments rest. We have similar souls that way. From my point of view, he seems shy and insecure. He reminds me a lot of myself. He's someone I don't think I could ever fully get to know. I would like to get to know Dylan. 

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if I need to chill it out with the dumb fucking weather metaphors. Sorry if the story is going slow, we will meet the boys in the next chapter, if you want another chapter. Your opinions are very much appreciated so please leave a comment so I know you want another chapter!!


End file.
